New Moon in Capricorn

My oneness is my truest Self.

“The mountain outdistanced their destruction, just as love had outdistanced death. The mountain could not be lost to them, because it was in their bones.”

from Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko

I am writing to you on Dahkota and Anishinaabe land. Today she is blanketed in fog and everything is wet, rain and melting snow creating river and slush.

I built a snow fort and it ended up being a movement meditation on death.

As I was forming each brick, the weather forecast predicted rising temperatures, rain, and warm southern winds. Each time I donned my snowpants my mother would comment, “It’s going to be 40 degrees this weekend.” “It’s supposed to warm up.” “Why are you building it if it will just melt in a few days?”

I am hearing similar nihilism in the world outside my backyard. Why keep going when it’s only going to end? Why put in the effort to build something that might not last? What’s the point if it will all be taken away, and imminently?

My responses: I want to! I am having fun! I want to see if I can finish it before it melts! It is a way to move my body and enjoy the snow while it lasts! I am learning from this process!

Pluto just left Capricorn, so we are in the aftermath of a death transformation in this chapter of the cosmic story. I am building my snow fort. It's melting as I'm building it because everything is change. And so what? It is time to take a risk and build something that might (that will) fall but maybe not entirely or maybe not in the ways you expect. Let yourself be surprised by the alchemy of death. Let it transform you into the phoenix. What can be birthed in this moment that was not possible before?

This Capricorn new moon I am planting seeds of belonging and bravery. There are portals opening, invitations to build, opportunities to take risks, climb to new heights, and experience the blessings of Death both personally and collectively. Capricorn is the sea-goat, exploring the depths and heights with a steady eye toward legacy within the container of the cosmos, that holds all of us precious kin in an eternal ceremony. We are each one small part and in order to play that part, we must allow the truth of our death to touch us. The truth is all there is. That is how we can survive winter, a long dark night, and usher in what aligns with our soul’s purpose.

The snow fort became an altar in the sanctuary of the world. Laying on the cold ground I could disappear into the white and gray world. I am part of the mystery, the great unknown, the story of the cosmos. I am alive right here and now! I am dying and have always been, just like all living things. There is no making it out of this alive.

Pluto’s transit through Capricorn crossed my Neptune, Uranus, IC, and North Node. So much of my understanding of my Self in relationship to my physical home, Gaia, and the home I build within myself has died and been recycled into new ways of being. I can build and build, knowing it will not last, and rejoice instead of despair- a blessing from Death! I can lay down in a snow fort and sing with the birds without fear or shame- a blessing from Death! I feel known by the Earth and attuned to her cycles- a blessing from Death!

I traveled all over the yard gathering snow. My footprints joined those of the squirrels and rabbits. The birds watched and talked to me from the bushes. My neighbor, seeing my face scrunched up in problem-solving mode, said, “You know that’s all coming down this weekend?”

I smiled back, “I know.”