the retrieval
on mercury stationing direct, saturn’s gifts, Pluribus, and walking the path as Love
Forget your perfect offering is a song by Laurence Cole, who was inspired by Leonard Cohen, who was inspired by Emerson, who was inspired by kintsugi, who was inspired by how the Earth beautifully repairs what is broken through its constantly changing form that includes everything that ever was, is, and will be.
Everything I have to say from the dark of remembering has already been said before. The scrolls I offer here are not mine alone and that is why I offer them. I am inspired daily by endless footsteps of ones who came before me, ones who remember and share so others can remember and know and live from that knowing consciously again.
inside this clay jug- o and Kabir
As a devotee of Saturn, I revere this responsibility. I’m so grateful for my duty- to restore balance via Love, honoring her flood of singing and ritual and devotion through me. Love is all I offer in this journey of retrieving the truth of my oneness.
image description: collaged letters spell “keep remembering” over a background of shells
My love seeks to move like water- in the tides as I have flow in and out of hermitage, in the mist as I dissolve and dissipate, in the storm as I ecstatically sing and share truth of my infinite belonging, in the rain as I soak in recycled wisdom, in the snow as I silently fall a blanket honestly marking time, remembering the value of dark and cold, of restriction and deprivation, of dreaming warmth, of knowing that survival will return me in due time.
When Mercury entered the shadow of this retrograde, I was in a beautiful day of flow and constriction, contractions, water meeting shore and rock and fallen tree and rejoicing in the path these hard things wrought. Now I flood as Mercury stations direct, the constriction longer, the womb-void larger as I return to my shining a clear paned-lantern filled with deep trust and fortified by the ones upstream who flow into me now as all water flows forever.
image description: a fox ornament surfing on sand in front of a lantern containing a candle bearing the glyph for venus, the misi ziibi river in the background
I’m thinking about the show Pluribus that my sister Sophia and I are watching (not spoilers, but musings about the premise, ahead). In the show, an alien virus reaches Earth and joins together the consciousness of all but 12 humans. The initial joining causes chaos resulting in huge human casualties. Of the 12 unafflicted humans, we only know two that are actively resisting and attempting to undo the joining.
“I do not complain of suffering for Love, it is right that I should always obey her whether she commands in storm or in stillness. This is a marvel beyond my understanding which fills my whole heart and makes me stray in a wild desert.” Hadewijch of Antwerp
It’s the creativity of walking the path, of straying in the wild desert of Love, that I am mourn in this scenario, a scenario that does not seem too distant from the AI bubble we find ourselves in. The joined know the truth of their oneness from an infection, a way that has precluded them from walking the path, which is to say, the living part of enlightenment. Saturn approves that they know their responsibility and duty, but disapproves of the fact that they climbed no mountains to enter it. The lessons are learned without the struggle necessary to integrate them within the soul, so that the being-Self and doing-Self are in sync. So what is it worth, this joining without the struggle that leads to Love?
oh wanderer- o and antonio machado
Mercury and Saturn are part of a water grand trine with Jupiter right now. We are invited to recognize that the walking is where the benefit comes from. Solvitur ambulando. It (our purpose on this blue marble hurtling through space) is solved by walking. When we seek the benefit Elsewhere, the walking becomes secondary and brings us only to the known. Are we really seeking to enter into the known, now?
The current known/practical/reasonable path is dangerous to the Earth, our maker who is asking us to shine in our belonging with her and participate with generosity in the ongoing creation of the universe, NOW! The task ahead is learning our role in remembering, spreading rippling seeping out and out and out, an egg spilling from the crack of chaos and nourishing all it touches as it flows with its yellow spark.
image description: o sitting on rocks looking out at a sun sprinkled clearwater lake
As I walk the path I hold the pearl of my being as Love which shines through me and makes each choice bright and significant and earnest. I offer these scrolls because they are not mine! They belong to all of us as we belong to each other and the Earth! I accept the risk of being seen doing this work and in any feelings of fear remember I am loved and well held and just two feet walking beside you on this road to a more just world which we call into being through belief, preparation, and trust in our bodies as sacred guides while here.
Thank you to the Earth for all that I am made of. Thank you to my ancestors for all that I am made of. Thank you to my friends and family for all that I am made of. Thank you water grand trine for supporting me in sharing in this way. Thank you for reading this and walking with me on the road.
So much love,
o
image description: the chart of the moment with notes on mercury’s retrograde in scorpio (“we are here, back where we began”), jupiter’s retrograde in cancer (“GENEROSITY UNLOCKS WISDOM”), the double kite creating a sort of house-looking configuration (“oh this is the house we’ve been dreaming of” (a ma muse-sarina partridge song lyric), “BIG TENT”, “WATER GRAND TRINE-spread soak seep”).